Tuesday, October 28, 2014
Whoa is She
"I didn't have a daddy growing up."
Nothing annoys me more than the ratchet girl fighting in the club, dressing like a street walker and having multiple babies by multiple baby daddy's because she didn't have a father growing up. Or her terrible choice in men or relationship problems, because she didn't have a father growing up. Or I can't keep or maintain healthy friendships or relationships and the expectation to excuse their mistreatment of others, alllll because.....you guessed it...... she didn't have a father growing up.
Whoa is She. But whoa is half of America if that is the case. You know how many successful women never had a father raise them? You know how many married women there are out there that have a successful marriage and relationship with others that didn't have a father raise them? You know how many Baby Momma's are out there that maintain a functional parenthood with the father that didn't have a father raise them? Excuses is the worst reason to remain in a current situation. Stop blaming your lack of motivation to change your life around because you didn't have a daddy!
In the words of Outkast, "Get up, get out and get something." Accountability is key. You shouldn't be on every state assistance while sitting at home complaining about being broke. You shouldn't be mad that you have 6 Baby Daddy's and angry none of them pay child support. Absolutely it is also their responsibility to raise these kids but when do you take responsibility for your choices? It is not ok to have multiple kids but still be in the club weekend after weekend, looking for love in all the wrong place, but then have a tear session of whoa is she.
The Moral of the Story: Not having a daddy is not your get out of jail free card allowing you to make bad decisions, treat others out of pocket, or continuously do nothing and be nothing because you grew up in a single parent household!
Monday, October 20, 2014
Who Am I?
In life you go through stages. There is:
Career stage
I got a man stage
I married that man stage
I'm having a baby stage
Back to the career phase
Somewhere in here you have, "Who am I phase?"
I have achieved a Bachelor's and Master's degree. I have the career job that has potential for continued growth. I have three children and a husband all of which has their own hobbies and goals I support and help accomplish by means of being there and getting things done. In doing so, I have lost who I am. What do I do for me? What makes me happy? I get a mani pedi from time to time. I enjoy spending time with friends with with adult conversation. I love my time sleeping and veggie on my couch. But I felt like I lost myself in the life of all that I support. I take kids to basketball practices and games, kid birthday parties and kid events.
I woke up one day and decided no more excuses. I need to find out what makes me happy.....and writing is it! I have always found solemn in self expression through writing. That and the empowerment of women. But until I can find a way to save the misfortunes of the world.....Writing is my outlet! So stay tuned world. You may find knowledge, entertainment, or annoyance in what I have to say or discuss. Either way get ready because here SHE come!
Career stage
I got a man stage
I married that man stage
I'm having a baby stage
Back to the career phase
Somewhere in here you have, "Who am I phase?"
I have achieved a Bachelor's and Master's degree. I have the career job that has potential for continued growth. I have three children and a husband all of which has their own hobbies and goals I support and help accomplish by means of being there and getting things done. In doing so, I have lost who I am. What do I do for me? What makes me happy? I get a mani pedi from time to time. I enjoy spending time with friends with with adult conversation. I love my time sleeping and veggie on my couch. But I felt like I lost myself in the life of all that I support. I take kids to basketball practices and games, kid birthday parties and kid events.
I woke up one day and decided no more excuses. I need to find out what makes me happy.....and writing is it! I have always found solemn in self expression through writing. That and the empowerment of women. But until I can find a way to save the misfortunes of the world.....Writing is my outlet! So stay tuned world. You may find knowledge, entertainment, or annoyance in what I have to say or discuss. Either way get ready because here SHE come!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Ladiesm's of how to Live as a Lady: The Silent Treatment
Ladiesm's of how to Live as a Lady: The Silent Treatment: In every relationship there are issues. Have you found that one of yours is the silent treatment? This is the man's way of holding out on u...
The Silent Treatment
In every relationship there are issues. Have you found that one of yours is the silent treatment? This is the man's way of holding out on us. Women need to talk, just as a man needs sex. As women if we have had a long day at work, or a long day at home with the kids the first thing you want to do when your significant other gets home is talk about it. The last thing the man wants to do is listen to it. So what is your first punishment handed down by the man when an argument arises, THE SILENT TREATMENT?
Women will always use sex as our way to make a statement, prove a point, or set a man straight. That is the only way at times a woman feels she has the upper hand or the advantage if you will. So to get the man's attention in order to make up, you let him simmer on his side of the bed until he get some "act right" in him or come to his senses. A man will stop talking, ignore that you exist and sometimes dip out the house on you. Drives women CRAZY! You know how hard it is for a woman to not speak for several days in her own home besides with the kids?!?!?! She will pretend to be on the phone, on the internet, clean but she really can't wait til you start talking to her again. Now I may not have it right for all my ladies, but I have it right for a vast majority.
Moral of the story? Hell I don't have one, but be aware ladies they're own to us!!!!!! Lol
Monday, April 9, 2012
Finances in Dating
There was a conversation that has been had by me and some friends where there was a multitude of opinions. The question was, is it ok for the man to use a coupon on the first date? Many had the perspective that this would indicate he is cheap and if you can't afford the date then you should lower the expectations or not go out at all. Some people feel that it's not a big deal and it’s a sign of maturity and frugalness.
In dating it is important that each individual is able to hold their own. If you want to take someone on a date and use a coupon, make sure she a coupon type of chick. It is not in your best interest to invite the high class girl whose attire down to her shoes is more than the meal you plan to present. Do not intend on taken a Red Lobster kind of girl to an Applebee’s kind of establishment and assume she will be ok with it.
Are finances important when dating? ABSOLUTELY!!!!! It is important during dating that you understand your audience and offer a performance worth applauding. Every woman wants to feel secure and confident that in a situation her man can handle it and take care of business. The strongest woman that is a go getter and conquers the world on her own merit still wants someone who can take care of her. Knowing your audience means you understand the woman you are keeping, understanding what she wants and whether you will be able to continue to provide it. In a relationship there are shared responsibilities and both should be able to lay out the red carpet in gift giving, dinner, birthdays and all other exciting reason within a relationship to spend money. Don't start out as a Red Lobster kind of man and lower the standards to Denny’s because you started out stronger than you were able to finish. Don't play games and start out with Denny’s when you know you’re a Red Lobster providing man. The world of technology allows individuals the ability to get to know you by phone, bbm, instant messaging, Skype, Facebook, twitter, heck even MySpace. Get to know your opponent because that is how you understand their needs and are able to deliver on the first date, or cut your losses before wasting your Red Lobster or Denny’s money!
The moral of the story: Broke ain't cute, using a coupon is alright if your audience is receiving of such an act, and understanding your opponent will alleviate the complications and financial issues.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Marriage- To honor, cherish, and trust
Many people put emphasis on getting married. You read in books that in order to live the fairy tale, marriage is required to be happily ever after. I think because of this people forget the main reason behind marriage. The whole death to you part, to honor, cherish, yea all that jazz.
Many women have a problem with the honor part of their vow and completely forget that it was said. I don't understand why some women have a problem with honoring their husbands. I was out to eat with a friend of mine, and her friend, and her friend got a call from her husband, she looks at me and says, "Don't be looking at me like that, he don't have me in check he probably calling because the kids want to talk to me." Now mind you I don't know this chick, but the fact that she thought she had to make a big deal about telling me her husband ain't in control bothered me. I told her that my husband has the right to check me when he sees fit. At the end of the day that man is who takes care of me and if he wants to call and check me Imma answer and don't owe nobody an explanation of why I did so.
The problem with women is that we are sometimes to independent. We want someone to take care of us, but then we want to still be in charge. You can't have both ladies. If you don't feel like you can't let your guard down enough to be taken care of, that means you haven't met the right man. Before meeting my husband, I always had a backup, in case the current man and situation didn't work out. I never in any previous relationships felt like I could depend on anyone to take care of what needed to be done. If that is what you feel, than boo that dude may not be the man for you. As a woman in a relationship that man should be in control and you should allow him to do so. If you feel he won't steer you in the right direction and you can't honor and trust his decisions, then why are you wasting your time. Until you can honor, cherish, and trust that man continue to date and not marry as our divorce rate is high enough! Too be continued.....
Many women have a problem with the honor part of their vow and completely forget that it was said. I don't understand why some women have a problem with honoring their husbands. I was out to eat with a friend of mine, and her friend, and her friend got a call from her husband, she looks at me and says, "Don't be looking at me like that, he don't have me in check he probably calling because the kids want to talk to me." Now mind you I don't know this chick, but the fact that she thought she had to make a big deal about telling me her husband ain't in control bothered me. I told her that my husband has the right to check me when he sees fit. At the end of the day that man is who takes care of me and if he wants to call and check me Imma answer and don't owe nobody an explanation of why I did so.
The problem with women is that we are sometimes to independent. We want someone to take care of us, but then we want to still be in charge. You can't have both ladies. If you don't feel like you can't let your guard down enough to be taken care of, that means you haven't met the right man. Before meeting my husband, I always had a backup, in case the current man and situation didn't work out. I never in any previous relationships felt like I could depend on anyone to take care of what needed to be done. If that is what you feel, than boo that dude may not be the man for you. As a woman in a relationship that man should be in control and you should allow him to do so. If you feel he won't steer you in the right direction and you can't honor and trust his decisions, then why are you wasting your time. Until you can honor, cherish, and trust that man continue to date and not marry as our divorce rate is high enough! Too be continued.....
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The Nex Level Studio Google Issue
I was new to TX and needed a salon. I am used to the Detroit style hair care so it was important that I found a salon that not only could hook my hair up to my usual standard but I also wanted someone that was about hair care. I am big on not going into a shop full of gossip, nastiness, and ghetto! I was referred to Vantrice and has been in love with her and the professionalism of her shop ever since. The shop is not ghetto by no means, and it is clean, friendly, and professional. They have snacks, coffee, water, music, laughter, tv's and an overall confronting atmosphere. Since going into The Nex Level I have loved it and would recommend their services to anyone.
There is a certain individual that had a bad experience with the shop and decided to write about it. Another stylist in the shop is Texas T....Although she is not my specific stylist I have seen her work and she does an amazing job. She is hilarious and provides the laughter and atmosphere with everyone else to make this shop what it is....Apparently she had a customer that didn't see it this way and googled this mess:
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I made a Saturday appointment with Toni aka Teaxas T whatever the H$#! That means. Anyways I mad ethe appointment 1 month in advance, I show up @ noon cause that was my appointment time Toni told me to have a seat. By 12:30 I was still waiting if I maid an appointment @ a certain time then that chair should be open for me that is why people make appointment I wasn't a walk in. The music was so loud and basing I thought I was at the club. That is ghetto and un professional . Needless to say I will never come back to that shop nor recommend anyone to get serviced there. I found a lovely and professional black hair shop on Ray Bon called Exselonce and it is a professional shop with the older more sophisticated black women atmosphere. Toni T is unprofessional and trying to be gready and book more appoinments than she can handle. The days of good customer @ black hair salons are fading .
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On so many levels this is all wrong. First off lady, when you decide to express yourself about how ghetto and unprofessional an atmosphere is, it is probably in your best interest to spell check. You put this on google, where anyone who googles the shop will read. Ummmmm not only is there spelling issue in this message but all types of grammar issues. How do you call yourself going hard on someone in Ebonics but in the same breath call someone ghetto! The shop plays music but it has never been loud enough to be considered ghetto, just loud enough to hear it in the midst of blow dryers and conversations. When has any salon that you walked into you are able to go right to the chair......??? Go ahead I will wait....... Yea none. A good hair salon is like the doctor you have to wait to get served. How professional is it to walk out of the salon pretending that you have to leave for work, only to go to another shop and then decide to google someone! I think "needless to say" was the most educated comment she made within this post! How you live in Texas and can't spell it....Boooooooo!
The ladiesm's moral of this story is to practice what you preach. You want a professional, you act like one. You want to make an appointment and walk into a chair, book your appointment at Walmart. You want to go hard on someone..... speak with some sense and not Ebonics. You think a stylist with people sitting in the chair is greedy, naw stupid, that's called clientele....Isn't that the point of owning and maintaining a business...Getcha mind right and jump off a bridge already! I recommend The Nex Level to anyone and Texas T for that matter, continue to get it ladies you are AWESOME!
There is a certain individual that had a bad experience with the shop and decided to write about it. Another stylist in the shop is Texas T....Although she is not my specific stylist I have seen her work and she does an amazing job. She is hilarious and provides the laughter and atmosphere with everyone else to make this shop what it is....Apparently she had a customer that didn't see it this way and googled this mess:
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I made a Saturday appointment with Toni aka Teaxas T whatever the H$#! That means. Anyways I mad ethe appointment 1 month in advance, I show up @ noon cause that was my appointment time Toni told me to have a seat. By 12:30 I was still waiting if I maid an appointment @ a certain time then that chair should be open for me that is why people make appointment I wasn't a walk in. The music was so loud and basing I thought I was at the club. That is ghetto and un professional . Needless to say I will never come back to that shop nor recommend anyone to get serviced there. I found a lovely and professional black hair shop on Ray Bon called Exselonce and it is a professional shop with the older more sophisticated black women atmosphere. Toni T is unprofessional and trying to be gready and book more appoinments than she can handle. The days of good customer @ black hair salons are fading .
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On so many levels this is all wrong. First off lady, when you decide to express yourself about how ghetto and unprofessional an atmosphere is, it is probably in your best interest to spell check. You put this on google, where anyone who googles the shop will read. Ummmmm not only is there spelling issue in this message but all types of grammar issues. How do you call yourself going hard on someone in Ebonics but in the same breath call someone ghetto! The shop plays music but it has never been loud enough to be considered ghetto, just loud enough to hear it in the midst of blow dryers and conversations. When has any salon that you walked into you are able to go right to the chair......??? Go ahead I will wait....... Yea none. A good hair salon is like the doctor you have to wait to get served. How professional is it to walk out of the salon pretending that you have to leave for work, only to go to another shop and then decide to google someone! I think "needless to say" was the most educated comment she made within this post! How you live in Texas and can't spell it....Boooooooo!
The ladiesm's moral of this story is to practice what you preach. You want a professional, you act like one. You want to make an appointment and walk into a chair, book your appointment at Walmart. You want to go hard on someone..... speak with some sense and not Ebonics. You think a stylist with people sitting in the chair is greedy, naw stupid, that's called clientele....Isn't that the point of owning and maintaining a business...Getcha mind right and jump off a bridge already! I recommend The Nex Level to anyone and Texas T for that matter, continue to get it ladies you are AWESOME!
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
To Girdle or not to Girdle...That is the Question
Soooo let's talk about it ladies. Girdles!!!!! My Pet Peeve is seeing a women in a dress or something that fits tight with no girdle on. The girdle serves many purposes, it smooths out the lumpy, flattens the stomach so it doesn't look like a tucked out shirt over your pants, it stops the wobble wobble shaky shaky. I don't know why some ladies think that its cute to walk around with all that wobble all over the place, or wear white pants with lumps all over the place, legs looking like a bag full of nickels. I don't understand why people believe they can wear any shirt they want when their belly hangs over their shirt.
Now I am not saying you can't be big and sexy, I have friends that are plus size and still get down with the best of the skinny girls. You gotta keep it tight though...I am no skinny chick and I got wobble wobble and shaky shaky and because of it I wear a girdle or a spank. Now just because you skinny don't mean you don't wobble or that you are not lumpy you need spanks too. I know there is a theory that men like to see that butt wobble when you walk pass, I feel you ladies, but have you been behind someone watching that......Nasty and that is skinny or big! Not pimpin!
The ladiesm's model of this story is wear a girdle or spanks in those sun dresses, pants, tuck in the gut, make yourself look more smooth you will feel better about yourself and so will the ones walking behind you. You can get spanks or girdles at any Walmart, Target, or Lane Bryant. It is inexpensive and you will feel better about trying on clothes. That is all folks!
Now I am not saying you can't be big and sexy, I have friends that are plus size and still get down with the best of the skinny girls. You gotta keep it tight though...I am no skinny chick and I got wobble wobble and shaky shaky and because of it I wear a girdle or a spank. Now just because you skinny don't mean you don't wobble or that you are not lumpy you need spanks too. I know there is a theory that men like to see that butt wobble when you walk pass, I feel you ladies, but have you been behind someone watching that......Nasty and that is skinny or big! Not pimpin!
The ladiesm's model of this story is wear a girdle or spanks in those sun dresses, pants, tuck in the gut, make yourself look more smooth you will feel better about yourself and so will the ones walking behind you. You can get spanks or girdles at any Walmart, Target, or Lane Bryant. It is inexpensive and you will feel better about trying on clothes. That is all folks!
Monday, June 6, 2011
Basketball Wives
I really don't understand why this show is called basketball wives since none of them are current wives to any players. I believe this show is great for entertainment but poses some issues with me. So I believe Shaunie is using these chicks to fatten her pocket, she plays innocent as if she is peace maker, but she was the one that stirred the Evelyn and Tami fight last season. However she is always the one saying that this has turned into some mess, but for rating, when Evelyn asked her should I tell Tami about Kenny she says was like absolutely....too funny Shaunie, stop playing innocent. Now Royce, I like her because she holds are own and her little self is not scared of no one. Tami is a bit hood and needs a lesson in ladiesm's to include holding her liquor. Evelyn is that friend still fighting in the club creating a run experience in heels. Not pimpin!
So my ladiesm’s issues with this show, is that it shows you that you can be hood, raunchy at the mouth, back stabbing, and just plain mean girls and its all good cause they money up! In all friend relationships these things can rear its ugly head but flaunting it like it's all good just annoys me. But we keep watching so I guess it must not be too bad, they in season two. The point is this.....please make this show the only drama that you enjoy and not keeping the likes of this type of drama in your everyday atmosphere.
So my ladiesm’s issues with this show, is that it shows you that you can be hood, raunchy at the mouth, back stabbing, and just plain mean girls and its all good cause they money up! In all friend relationships these things can rear its ugly head but flaunting it like it's all good just annoys me. But we keep watching so I guess it must not be too bad, they in season two. The point is this.....please make this show the only drama that you enjoy and not keeping the likes of this type of drama in your everyday atmosphere.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
I have been gone
I have been gone for some time. I have delayed my love to blog and give information because I got busy! So beside work, school, and and my family I started a Ladiesms foundation catered to teaching girls how to be ladies. Some people may say, what makes you think you have the right to teach anyone anything? Well I do because I choose to act like a lady. Now I am not saying I am better than no one in particular, however I feel that some people make choices that aren't very lady like. Like in the club with the thong showing...so is that the latest fashion statement. When did it become cute that chicks are fighting in the club.... Oh so its cute to break into a fight in heels? I don't like running in heels, and none of my friends do either. Is it cute that you fighting at 30...yea cause you a role model for your kids. Now I am not saying a fight is never called for, but really in the club, nothing is never that serious.
I am back now ya'll and stronger than ever. I am asking for participation and suggestions. What should we talk about, this your house as much as its mines?!
I am back now ya'll and stronger than ever. I am asking for participation and suggestions. What should we talk about, this your house as much as its mines?!
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Father's Day
There are a lot of single parents homes. Single mother homes where mother's are raising boys to be men, and girls to be women. Father's stop by when they feel like it, and baby daddy's that don't even do that. There are several mother's out here that do what it takes to raise their kids the best that they can. Their best may not be perfect, but because they have no choice its done, and done with a smile and a lot of love.
So for my Father's Day, I am celebrating those mother's. Those that were and still are the mother and father. Those that do it without complaining, and work hard to make sure that the child doesn't even notice. Providing enough love of two people, even if there is just one.
I will celebrate my mother on Father's Day. My mother was the woman who gave it all up for me. My mom went years not knowing what size shoe or clothes she wore, just because she wanted to make sure I knew more about my haves than my have nots. I never looked ragedy, I never went hungry, and was never homeless. She worked her but off and wasn't afraid nor shame to ask for help. With the hard work of her efforts and the help of family, she raised, and continues to raise her children. My mom did it with love, and strength, and I adore and appreciate her for it. As an adult, I still adore my mother, and all the mother figures that helped me become the woman and mother I am today.
This Ladiesm's public announcement is saying, that I am not discrediting those men taken care of their children, I got love for you to, but unfortunately, I never received those benefits, so can not relate! Thank you mom dukes, its all about you boo!
So for my Father's Day, I am celebrating those mother's. Those that were and still are the mother and father. Those that do it without complaining, and work hard to make sure that the child doesn't even notice. Providing enough love of two people, even if there is just one.
I will celebrate my mother on Father's Day. My mother was the woman who gave it all up for me. My mom went years not knowing what size shoe or clothes she wore, just because she wanted to make sure I knew more about my haves than my have nots. I never looked ragedy, I never went hungry, and was never homeless. She worked her but off and wasn't afraid nor shame to ask for help. With the hard work of her efforts and the help of family, she raised, and continues to raise her children. My mom did it with love, and strength, and I adore and appreciate her for it. As an adult, I still adore my mother, and all the mother figures that helped me become the woman and mother I am today.
This Ladiesm's public announcement is saying, that I am not discrediting those men taken care of their children, I got love for you to, but unfortunately, I never received those benefits, so can not relate! Thank you mom dukes, its all about you boo!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Half on a Baby
So my husband and I were discussing going half on a baby. We have been married almost two years, and have 3 children between the two of us without one together. Ours kids are all under the age of 5, so they are still pretty young, and still expensive. Well when aren't they expensive?! So in this discussion we were going through the pros and cons of having children right now and things that we would have to give up to have another baby.
Is this something that everyone does before deciding to have another baby, or your first for that matter? Is this a discussion your having with your husband, or just that live in boyfriend? Now don't get me wrong, I ain't judging, obviously because I had a son before becoming a wife, but slip up once shame on us, slip up twice shame on me. I think when considering to have children, this should a big deal and discussion.
What will you have to give up to have another baby? Will you take away from what your current kids have, or you have to ability to provide easily? Can you still adequately provide for your family and current lifestyle by adding another baby in the mix? These are all things that should be discussed. Can you afford another kid and still be able to eat, will you have to quit your job because you can't afford daycare? Can you afford that milk if WIC ain't available? Will you be birthing yet another fatherless child? We know the saying that it takes a Village to raise a child, but hell nowadays you barely got two parent homes.
If you can not financially provide for that child in such a manner that they are not comfortable you probably shouldn't be having more kids. Are you still selfish and want to hit the club or enjoy vacationing? I mean you have a right to be selfish, but keep your selfish legs closed if you not ready to give up your life and wants for the needs of your child/children. If you can't afford these kids without some form of assistance, well um, you probably should keep your legs closed too. The system is not meant to pay for kids you can't afford, its meant to pay for circumstance unpreventable. Legs opening and closing is a choice of which can be prevented. If you don't even have health insurance for yourself, why should kids be a thought. You can't even cough in good conscious so what makes you think the economy can afford you birthing someone else who we have no choice but to care for.
These are all things that are food for thought. This Public Announcement being brought to you by Ladiesm's is just saying: If you ain't got it, what makes you think I want to give up some of my check to give it to you. Marinate on that!
Is this something that everyone does before deciding to have another baby, or your first for that matter? Is this a discussion your having with your husband, or just that live in boyfriend? Now don't get me wrong, I ain't judging, obviously because I had a son before becoming a wife, but slip up once shame on us, slip up twice shame on me. I think when considering to have children, this should a big deal and discussion.
What will you have to give up to have another baby? Will you take away from what your current kids have, or you have to ability to provide easily? Can you still adequately provide for your family and current lifestyle by adding another baby in the mix? These are all things that should be discussed. Can you afford another kid and still be able to eat, will you have to quit your job because you can't afford daycare? Can you afford that milk if WIC ain't available? Will you be birthing yet another fatherless child? We know the saying that it takes a Village to raise a child, but hell nowadays you barely got two parent homes.
If you can not financially provide for that child in such a manner that they are not comfortable you probably shouldn't be having more kids. Are you still selfish and want to hit the club or enjoy vacationing? I mean you have a right to be selfish, but keep your selfish legs closed if you not ready to give up your life and wants for the needs of your child/children. If you can't afford these kids without some form of assistance, well um, you probably should keep your legs closed too. The system is not meant to pay for kids you can't afford, its meant to pay for circumstance unpreventable. Legs opening and closing is a choice of which can be prevented. If you don't even have health insurance for yourself, why should kids be a thought. You can't even cough in good conscious so what makes you think the economy can afford you birthing someone else who we have no choice but to care for.
These are all things that are food for thought. This Public Announcement being brought to you by Ladiesm's is just saying: If you ain't got it, what makes you think I want to give up some of my check to give it to you. Marinate on that!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Taking Care of Home
I am perplexed when I see women who have men at home but present themselves in the streets as single. Now whether you are shacking up or married, what does a lady act like when they have that significant other at home? What is okay behavior in the streets? Let’s talk about it.
Now I am married so I hold that commitment to the most high, as I should because that vow was made to He who is most high. My vow was to forsake all others, and love, respect, and honor. Is honoring degrading my man and ALWAYS taking the driver seat of the car? No mam, that means taking the back seat, or even the passenger side. The back seat means you letting that man ride shot gun making decisions that you may not feel is the best, but supporting it anyway. If or when that decision was wrong I then aid my man by picking up the pieces. The passenger seat means that you help that man make decision, by offering forethought, suggestions, and still allowing that man to MAKE THE DECISION. But that is just my commitment to my man!
So let’s talk about yours. What makes it okay for you to be in the streets at all hours of the night, leaving your man at home to mind his own on a regular? Now come on now I am not referring to the woman that takes time to herself and let her hair down from time to time. I am referring to that one that is never home; put hanging with their girls before taking care of home. So should you be mad when Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter become his away from home from you. When he meets that new chick who feels is pain, and allows him to share his, whose fault is it really. Now my finger pointing is not to say that cheating is okay, but guess what, if you don't take care of home, that next chick will. Your "in between the thigh power" may be what he yearns, but catch me if you can, will get annoying, and some that ain't that great but regular will become satisfactory to him.
So what you can't cook, you better learn, or at least learn 3 meals you can perfect, with the know how to make dinner appear on that table by way of order. Now you don't have to be Better Crocker, but boo, you must at least know how to cook that man one AWESOME MEAL occasionally. Especially if he is not your husband and you trying to make him that. A man, a good man anyway, compares what you can do to his momma. And lucky for you all momma's can't cook, but all momma's (well good ones anyway) have the know how to make sure he ate. Where is your know how, and if you don't have it, what are you doing to get it? Are you shame to refer to a book or asking someone if they can help? Yea keep on, because closed mouths don’t get fed!
Life is short and so is the shortage of a good man. You want one; don't destroy the one you got. Every f'd up man was probably because of an f'd up chick that made him that way........ But don't look at that in its simplest form, a man was born from a woman, my reference doesn't only apply to the woman who he gets his "power in between the legs" from.........Marinate on that!
This has been brought to you by Ladiesm's and the woman whose man has no complaints!
Now I am married so I hold that commitment to the most high, as I should because that vow was made to He who is most high. My vow was to forsake all others, and love, respect, and honor. Is honoring degrading my man and ALWAYS taking the driver seat of the car? No mam, that means taking the back seat, or even the passenger side. The back seat means you letting that man ride shot gun making decisions that you may not feel is the best, but supporting it anyway. If or when that decision was wrong I then aid my man by picking up the pieces. The passenger seat means that you help that man make decision, by offering forethought, suggestions, and still allowing that man to MAKE THE DECISION. But that is just my commitment to my man!
So let’s talk about yours. What makes it okay for you to be in the streets at all hours of the night, leaving your man at home to mind his own on a regular? Now come on now I am not referring to the woman that takes time to herself and let her hair down from time to time. I am referring to that one that is never home; put hanging with their girls before taking care of home. So should you be mad when Facebook, Myspace, and Twitter become his away from home from you. When he meets that new chick who feels is pain, and allows him to share his, whose fault is it really. Now my finger pointing is not to say that cheating is okay, but guess what, if you don't take care of home, that next chick will. Your "in between the thigh power" may be what he yearns, but catch me if you can, will get annoying, and some that ain't that great but regular will become satisfactory to him.
So what you can't cook, you better learn, or at least learn 3 meals you can perfect, with the know how to make dinner appear on that table by way of order. Now you don't have to be Better Crocker, but boo, you must at least know how to cook that man one AWESOME MEAL occasionally. Especially if he is not your husband and you trying to make him that. A man, a good man anyway, compares what you can do to his momma. And lucky for you all momma's can't cook, but all momma's (well good ones anyway) have the know how to make sure he ate. Where is your know how, and if you don't have it, what are you doing to get it? Are you shame to refer to a book or asking someone if they can help? Yea keep on, because closed mouths don’t get fed!
Life is short and so is the shortage of a good man. You want one; don't destroy the one you got. Every f'd up man was probably because of an f'd up chick that made him that way........ But don't look at that in its simplest form, a man was born from a woman, my reference doesn't only apply to the woman who he gets his "power in between the legs" from.........Marinate on that!
This has been brought to you by Ladiesm's and the woman whose man has no complaints!
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Baby Momma Drama
This is an epidemic. Its almost like a requirement for some women to end a relationship involving kids with some movie scene drama. What is the drama really?! Are you concerned that he won't treat your child/children the same if he is no longer with you? Are you concerned that he will move on to someone else? Let's see I think that is the problem. Most women really don't have a reason to create baby momma drama other than one reason, they feel they can, or they are not over the man that moved on.
I am a baby momma! I hate that term, but hey I had a child out of wedlock. I was not with the person I had my son with before nor after he was born. We had already determined we were not good together, and that we should just be parent's. I could have made his life unbearable and annoying. Why would I want to? We both are in this together and making the situation hard is pointless and it takes to much time and effort. The only thing I work at and not receive a check for is my child and my marriage.
After my son was born, my mother and I had a talk, and in that talk I said that when my son's father met someone that he wanted to bring my son around it was his duty to make sure I approved. What made me think that I had the right to approve somebody? I felt like he was half my child and I needed and had the right to know who was around my child. My mom told me that he will move on to other women, and you do not have the right to determine, approve, or even be considered in his choices of who he has your son around. I thought about that hard. Was she right? Who did I think I was? I do not have the right to approve her, you don't even have the right to check her or her abilities to raise your child. Your only right is to trust that man that you trusted enough to give up the goods to and his judgement. You do not have the right to question that woman and her experience with kids. You have the right to question that man, and that man only, because he is the one you made the baby with. Now if you want to have a talk with this woman as a courtesy to say hey I know you will be around my child so I wanted to introduce myself, cool, make that happen, but thinking she owes you anything, get over your self!
Life is too short. Let that man go, let him move on to whomever he deems necessary. Stop using the children as a pawn. Either way you slice the cake a man will move on faster than a woman ever can, and that is just their makeup. If you wanted to control who your kids are around, do it on your time, because his time is just that his time. As long as you know the kids are not in immediate danger move on. Use your free time to do something more productive, like finding you a man, and getting on with your life. Go to school, do a puzzle, basically get a life.
This public announcement has been brought to you by ladiesms and the Lady that has been there, and done that!
I am a baby momma! I hate that term, but hey I had a child out of wedlock. I was not with the person I had my son with before nor after he was born. We had already determined we were not good together, and that we should just be parent's. I could have made his life unbearable and annoying. Why would I want to? We both are in this together and making the situation hard is pointless and it takes to much time and effort. The only thing I work at and not receive a check for is my child and my marriage.
After my son was born, my mother and I had a talk, and in that talk I said that when my son's father met someone that he wanted to bring my son around it was his duty to make sure I approved. What made me think that I had the right to approve somebody? I felt like he was half my child and I needed and had the right to know who was around my child. My mom told me that he will move on to other women, and you do not have the right to determine, approve, or even be considered in his choices of who he has your son around. I thought about that hard. Was she right? Who did I think I was? I do not have the right to approve her, you don't even have the right to check her or her abilities to raise your child. Your only right is to trust that man that you trusted enough to give up the goods to and his judgement. You do not have the right to question that woman and her experience with kids. You have the right to question that man, and that man only, because he is the one you made the baby with. Now if you want to have a talk with this woman as a courtesy to say hey I know you will be around my child so I wanted to introduce myself, cool, make that happen, but thinking she owes you anything, get over your self!
Life is too short. Let that man go, let him move on to whomever he deems necessary. Stop using the children as a pawn. Either way you slice the cake a man will move on faster than a woman ever can, and that is just their makeup. If you wanted to control who your kids are around, do it on your time, because his time is just that his time. As long as you know the kids are not in immediate danger move on. Use your free time to do something more productive, like finding you a man, and getting on with your life. Go to school, do a puzzle, basically get a life.
This public announcement has been brought to you by ladiesms and the Lady that has been there, and done that!
Monday, May 3, 2010
Hating
Soooo lets talk about it ladies, let's make it known. We all know that their are haters out there, there are people that don't want to see you succeed. There are people that will hold you down and attempt to enable you if you allow them to. There are people out there that will turn their nose up at your bold attempts at success whether its within a relationship, your career choice, your friend choices, and some on your clothes choices.......now think about the friends that you have that have criticized or questioned you in one of these categories. Now lets not get it twisted with having a good friend, that makes suggestions, offer imput, or questions how you will make what you are attempting happen.
DO you find that when you do something that is different than what they would've done they turn their noise up, or if you decided to make a career or business choice they always got something to say that is not always encouraging or positive. The old saying is that misery loves company. How someone who ain't doing what you doing, can turn their nose up or offer negative feedback, you ain't done it and with that attitude you never will. How you gone tell me my man ain't happening when you single. How you gone tell me its a bad idea to be friends with that chick, when your friend choices ain't so hot either. How you gone tell me I shouldn't take that job when I will be making more than you. Right ladies, you feel me.....ugh, getcha life together!
Now hating is not just limited to friends, family hate too! They wanna call you booche cause you prefer to have some high standards and choices aboutcha self. How am I booche cause I like to keep my hair and nails done, or cause I don't smoke or knock back drinks on a work night. Excuse me for having my priorities in order. I am sick of haters who always got something to say about what you doing, but when it comes to them we supposed to be quiet. Well not today.
What is the moral of this message, mind your own, don't try discouraging me cause you think what I am doing is not anything you would attempt. If you wouldn't do it then that's you but giving me negative push back is not necessary. Keep your negative energy to yourself. I dress how I wanna dress cause that's my swag. I don't smoke cause I don't think it ladylike. I get my hair done cause my paycheck says I can. I attempt different career and business goals because I am striving not to be broke, so if you ain't feeling it, you ain't feeling me, and in the famous words of Neyo....to the left, to the left, keep it moving!
DO you find that when you do something that is different than what they would've done they turn their noise up, or if you decided to make a career or business choice they always got something to say that is not always encouraging or positive. The old saying is that misery loves company. How someone who ain't doing what you doing, can turn their nose up or offer negative feedback, you ain't done it and with that attitude you never will. How you gone tell me my man ain't happening when you single. How you gone tell me its a bad idea to be friends with that chick, when your friend choices ain't so hot either. How you gone tell me I shouldn't take that job when I will be making more than you. Right ladies, you feel me.....ugh, getcha life together!
Now hating is not just limited to friends, family hate too! They wanna call you booche cause you prefer to have some high standards and choices aboutcha self. How am I booche cause I like to keep my hair and nails done, or cause I don't smoke or knock back drinks on a work night. Excuse me for having my priorities in order. I am sick of haters who always got something to say about what you doing, but when it comes to them we supposed to be quiet. Well not today.
What is the moral of this message, mind your own, don't try discouraging me cause you think what I am doing is not anything you would attempt. If you wouldn't do it then that's you but giving me negative push back is not necessary. Keep your negative energy to yourself. I dress how I wanna dress cause that's my swag. I don't smoke cause I don't think it ladylike. I get my hair done cause my paycheck says I can. I attempt different career and business goals because I am striving not to be broke, so if you ain't feeling it, you ain't feeling me, and in the famous words of Neyo....to the left, to the left, keep it moving!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Friends
The great thing about friends, is that you can pick them, you can get rid of them, and you have the right to choose what type of relationship you can have with these friends. With your friends, you can choose them to be hanging partners only which equates to being an associate friend, or a true friend that you can share secrets with, a friend because they would be worthless as your enemy, or a friend that is really family but your relationship is just a strong as having them as a friend.
So what if that person didn't start out as your friend, but through a mutual relationship of someone else they became your friend. Is it okay to no longer befriend that person, when them and that mutual friend are not cool anymore? It is considered not being loyal to your other friend or family member, if you decided you still like this person and want to continue your friendship? Is it fair for your friend or family member to disown you because you still like that other friend, and have no reason to drop the relationship?
In my opinion it is not disloyal. I belief that it is not fair of someone to make you feel like just because their friendship or relationship didn't work, doesn't mean I am not supposed to like them anymore. True, they are only my friend in the first place through you, and true I might not have given them a chance if it wasn't for your relationship, but darnit I did, and darnt I'm glad I did, and darnit, you need to get over it!
In real life, life is too short for me to care about what other thinks of me. I can befriend whomever I want, no matter if you like it or not. If that person doesn't pose an immediate harm to me or anyone in my circle, or themselves for that matter, why do you care? The moral of this story is: Just because you broke up with this person, and I still like them and what they represent without you doesn't mean I am not loyal, it just means that you still got some growing and maturing left in you to do........! I choose my friends, associates, and life partner, the only person I can't choose is my family.
So what if that person didn't start out as your friend, but through a mutual relationship of someone else they became your friend. Is it okay to no longer befriend that person, when them and that mutual friend are not cool anymore? It is considered not being loyal to your other friend or family member, if you decided you still like this person and want to continue your friendship? Is it fair for your friend or family member to disown you because you still like that other friend, and have no reason to drop the relationship?
In my opinion it is not disloyal. I belief that it is not fair of someone to make you feel like just because their friendship or relationship didn't work, doesn't mean I am not supposed to like them anymore. True, they are only my friend in the first place through you, and true I might not have given them a chance if it wasn't for your relationship, but darnit I did, and darnt I'm glad I did, and darnit, you need to get over it!
In real life, life is too short for me to care about what other thinks of me. I can befriend whomever I want, no matter if you like it or not. If that person doesn't pose an immediate harm to me or anyone in my circle, or themselves for that matter, why do you care? The moral of this story is: Just because you broke up with this person, and I still like them and what they represent without you doesn't mean I am not loyal, it just means that you still got some growing and maturing left in you to do........! I choose my friends, associates, and life partner, the only person I can't choose is my family.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Dating
Dating is the inevitable, it’s available online, and the ole fashion way. I believe whatever way you find it necessary to find love is your porogative. I know love is hard to find, I accepted 3 rings before actually saying, “I do.” I just believe that people are going about how they introduce themselves and their kid into the situation is all wrong. There are too many crazy people out there, and just having them come to your home because you feel you know him, is ending in tragedy.
Now this also applies to the ladies dating the usual way. It is not a good look to bring that man to your home after the 1st date or for the internet love after a month or so of communicating online. This is especially even more a precaution when you have kids. I understand that you feel you know them and you feel they should meet all the aspects of you life but jumping the gun ladies puts you in a dangerous situation.
I was in a long time relationship that ended after 5 years, and I had to start dating again after being out the game for awhile. I would meet the men I dated at central locations, one of my home girl houses, my momma house, somewhere like that. I would make sure someone wrote down the license plate number of his car before I left. Now I know you may think I was paranoid, but trust I always made it back home safely, and if I didn’t my people could tell the police the make and model of the car I left in, what he looked like, and what the plates were on his car.
When I started to date after my son was born, I never, ever, ever, ever let them meet my son. That was something I took serious. You were not allowed to meet my son unless were exclusive and had been dating for a very long time. My son was not of anyone’s concern regardless of how much I may have liked that individual. I didn’t feel it was necessary for my son to meet every guy I decided to share my time with, and we know with dating you meet many until you settle for that one. Just because you’ve been on three dates, does not mean that he now needs to meet your child, you telling him that he exist is enough. Dating is already hard enough, especially when you decide that he is not the one, so should we bring a child into this tangled web? Now I understand that you may have waited the time period, you were considered exclusive, and then it just turned out to not work out, and really there is nothing you can do about that situation. My suggestion is the minute you know in your heart, that the relation is not working, cut it, move the child from the situation, kids forget way quicker than we do, let their healing start before yours!
So the moral of this Ladiesm’s post is just to be careful. The way you choose to date is your choice, just be more mindful of how you meet them, how much of where you lay your head they know about, and question yourself on whether this is a seasoned relationship due to end, or if this could be long term. Once that is decided think more about the safety of the kids more than the wants of your desires………..When a child is born, your life no longer about you, its about them!
Now this also applies to the ladies dating the usual way. It is not a good look to bring that man to your home after the 1st date or for the internet love after a month or so of communicating online. This is especially even more a precaution when you have kids. I understand that you feel you know them and you feel they should meet all the aspects of you life but jumping the gun ladies puts you in a dangerous situation.
I was in a long time relationship that ended after 5 years, and I had to start dating again after being out the game for awhile. I would meet the men I dated at central locations, one of my home girl houses, my momma house, somewhere like that. I would make sure someone wrote down the license plate number of his car before I left. Now I know you may think I was paranoid, but trust I always made it back home safely, and if I didn’t my people could tell the police the make and model of the car I left in, what he looked like, and what the plates were on his car.
When I started to date after my son was born, I never, ever, ever, ever let them meet my son. That was something I took serious. You were not allowed to meet my son unless were exclusive and had been dating for a very long time. My son was not of anyone’s concern regardless of how much I may have liked that individual. I didn’t feel it was necessary for my son to meet every guy I decided to share my time with, and we know with dating you meet many until you settle for that one. Just because you’ve been on three dates, does not mean that he now needs to meet your child, you telling him that he exist is enough. Dating is already hard enough, especially when you decide that he is not the one, so should we bring a child into this tangled web? Now I understand that you may have waited the time period, you were considered exclusive, and then it just turned out to not work out, and really there is nothing you can do about that situation. My suggestion is the minute you know in your heart, that the relation is not working, cut it, move the child from the situation, kids forget way quicker than we do, let their healing start before yours!
So the moral of this Ladiesm’s post is just to be careful. The way you choose to date is your choice, just be more mindful of how you meet them, how much of where you lay your head they know about, and question yourself on whether this is a seasoned relationship due to end, or if this could be long term. Once that is decided think more about the safety of the kids more than the wants of your desires………..When a child is born, your life no longer about you, its about them!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Street Lights
So myself and a couple of other ladies, were wondering why on a Sunday evening the street lights were on, and there were still kids outside playing, who obviously had to get up and go to school the next morning. Why is their lack of mothers out there that believe that this rule should not still apply? I remember when I was a kid growing up on Barbara Drive (shout out to my Flintown homies) if we weren't in the house before the street lights came home, we were homeless for the night. Not to mention when it started to get even a little dark we had to be in front of the house in eye sight of the adults.
I don’t think that setting a bedtime for kids still going to school is too much to ask for. I, as your next door neighbor have my kids in the bed by 8:30 pm and hearing your children still out side all whilly nilly is the last thing I want to hear. “Mothers of the new bread” don’t you know that is my relaxing time, and your kids being outside is disturbing my peace of mind. By 8:30 pm on a school night, your children should have homework done, fed dinner, bath or shower complete, book read (if that’s your thang) and in the bed. Now I ain’t saying they should be sleep, but they should at least be in a relaxed state of mind getting those minds ready for school the next day. Now I understand this will not always be the case, such as days where you are leaving your spiritual sanctuary of whatever kind you participate late on some evenings, or you just got a late start due to other unforeseen circumstances. But kids outside because simple parents don’t feel like getting them together and organized for the week is just UNACCEPTABLE!
I do not profess to be a perfect parent, nor do I think I am better than those who ain’t heeding this ol school knowledge, but there must be a reason why when I am out and about, I am stopped by many to compliment , my husband and I on how well mannered our kids are. LOL…….
Soooo the public announcement brought to you by Ladiesm’s today is……..Take responsibilities for these kids, get them in the bed and on a schedule, a daily regiment, consistency is important, just cause you simple don’t mean the kids have to be. Get your lazy butt up, get those kids together, and then sit back on your couch, or in your bed to resume your position!
I don’t think that setting a bedtime for kids still going to school is too much to ask for. I, as your next door neighbor have my kids in the bed by 8:30 pm and hearing your children still out side all whilly nilly is the last thing I want to hear. “Mothers of the new bread” don’t you know that is my relaxing time, and your kids being outside is disturbing my peace of mind. By 8:30 pm on a school night, your children should have homework done, fed dinner, bath or shower complete, book read (if that’s your thang) and in the bed. Now I ain’t saying they should be sleep, but they should at least be in a relaxed state of mind getting those minds ready for school the next day. Now I understand this will not always be the case, such as days where you are leaving your spiritual sanctuary of whatever kind you participate late on some evenings, or you just got a late start due to other unforeseen circumstances. But kids outside because simple parents don’t feel like getting them together and organized for the week is just UNACCEPTABLE!
I do not profess to be a perfect parent, nor do I think I am better than those who ain’t heeding this ol school knowledge, but there must be a reason why when I am out and about, I am stopped by many to compliment , my husband and I on how well mannered our kids are. LOL…….
Soooo the public announcement brought to you by Ladiesm’s today is……..Take responsibilities for these kids, get them in the bed and on a schedule, a daily regiment, consistency is important, just cause you simple don’t mean the kids have to be. Get your lazy butt up, get those kids together, and then sit back on your couch, or in your bed to resume your position!
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