Friends...How many of us have them?

There are different kinds of friends and I want to break this down for you so that you know what category your in. This is important if you didn't know.

Associates: I am friends with you on the Book, Instagram or Twitter. We never hang out. We comment on each other's pictures. Say hi in passing. Crack a joke here there. Attend a happy hour here and there. We in most cases don't travel in the same circles. There is no beef or ill feelings, we are just not like that. It's okay to have associates, in some cases, you have someone who is more of an associate you are trying to force in the friend category. Message Here: Everyone you meet serves a purpose, they don't need to be your friend.

Work Friend: That person you go to lunch with daily, weekly or monthly. You discuss work level things and high level personal things. What do I mean by high level personal things? The things they can see or know by visiting your desk. That you have a family, kids, favorite sport teams.....you know.....the things you would tell anyone you randomly meet on the elevator. Message here: Don't trust telling work people ALL your personal business. You may think your lunch dates are something special, but not necessarily they just need someone to eat with.

True Friend: A true friend supports you and your family. A true friend doesn't expect you to support all they're accomplishments, attend they're children functions and celebrate they're successful moments but don't return the favor. A true friend doesn't take, take, take and take and then when it's my turn to take because I need my friend, you are MIA. This friend you don't have to speak to regularly. I can call you after not seeing or hearing from you in a year and we should be able to pick back up where we left off. A true friend should remember your birthday and buy you a gift if you got them one. That whole, don't give if you expect to receive in exchange is what broke friends who don't want to get you a gift says. Everyone's knows if I buy for you, in exchange, we should exchange!!!!! Let's be honest people! Now don't get me wrong I am that friend that if in a store, see something I know you've wanted or would appreciate, I will buy it. Do I expect you to do that for me. Hell yea LOL.

No but forreal a true friend is there if I call them at 2am or 8pm because I need them. A true friend doesn't push their friends to the back burner the minute they are happy in a new romantic interest because if we are friends I support your happiness and being included in your happy moments is what friends are all about. A true friend is like your romantic interest, you will disagree but should be able to have an opinion or feeling about something, share it, and the two of you make an effort to repair the situation for growth.

My biggest pet peeve with a friend????? If I have done or said something to offend you or you didn't like, how about you pick up the phone and call me. Let's do lunch, brunch, or dinner. Don't just silent treat me, what are we twelve? Grown people should be grown. We won't alway agree, but we should always be able to talk about what we don't agree on. We may end in, agreeing to disagree and move on. Message Here: Just because they have been your friends for years a 80/20 friendship isn't what I deserve. It's 50/50 like a marriage or it's nothing! I can apply my 20 on an associate or my lunch buddy!

These are my friend categories......What's yours?!

Whoa is She

"I didn't have a daddy growing up."

Nothing annoys me more than the ratchet girl fighting in the club, dressing like a street walker and having multiple babies by multiple baby daddy's because she didn't have a father growing up. Or her terrible choice in men or relationship problems, because she didn't have a father growing up. Or I can't keep or maintain healthy friendships or relationships and the expectation to excuse their mistreatment of others, alllll because.....you guessed it...... she didn't have a father growing up.

Whoa is She. But whoa is half of America if that is the case. You know how many successful women never had a father raise them? You know how many married women there are out there that have a successful marriage and relationship with others that didn't have a father raise them? You know how many Baby Momma's are out there that maintain a functional parenthood with the father that didn't have a father raise them? Excuses is the worst reason to remain in a current situation. Stop blaming your lack of motivation to change your life around because you didn't have a daddy!

In the words of Outkast, "Get up, get out and get something." Accountability is key. You shouldn't be on every state assistance while sitting at home complaining about being broke. You shouldn't be mad that you have 6 Baby Daddy's and angry none of them pay child support. Absolutely it is also their responsibility to raise these kids but when do you take responsibility for your choices? It is not ok to have multiple kids but still be in the club weekend after weekend, looking for love in all the wrong place, but then have a tear session of whoa is she.

The Moral of the Story: Not having a daddy is not your get out of jail free card allowing you to make bad decisions, treat others out of pocket, or continuously do nothing and be nothing because you grew up in a single parent household!

Ladiesm's of how to Live as a Lady: Who Am I?

Ladiesm's of how to Live as a Lady: Who Am I?

Who Am I?

In life you go through stages. There is:

Career stage
I got a man stage
I married that man stage
I'm having a baby stage
Back to the career phase

Somewhere in here you have, "Who am I phase?"

I have achieved a Bachelor's and Master's degree. I have the career job that has potential for continued growth. I have three children and a husband all of which has their own hobbies and goals I support and help accomplish by means of being there and getting things done. In doing so, I have lost who I am. What do I do for me? What makes me happy? I get a mani pedi from time to time. I enjoy spending time with friends with with adult conversation. I love my time sleeping and veggie on my couch. But I felt like I lost myself in the life of all that I support. I take kids to basketball practices and games, kid birthday parties and kid events.

I woke up one day and decided no more excuses. I need to find out what makes me happy.....and writing is it! I have always found solemn in self expression through writing. That and the empowerment of women. But until I can find a way to save the misfortunes of the world.....Writing is my outlet! So stay tuned world. You may find knowledge, entertainment, or annoyance in what I have to say or discuss. Either way get ready because here SHE come!

Ladiesm's of how to Live as a Lady: The Silent Treatment

Ladiesm's of how to Live as a Lady: The Silent Treatment: In every relationship there are issues. Have you found that one of yours is the silent treatment? This is the man's way of holding out on u...

The Silent Treatment

In every relationship there are issues. Have you found that one of yours is the silent treatment? This is the man's way of holding out on us. Women need to talk, just as a man needs sex. As women if we have had a long day at work, or a long day at home with the kids the first thing you want to do when your significant other gets home is talk about it. The last thing the man wants to do is listen to it. So what is your first punishment handed down by the man when an argument arises, THE SILENT TREATMENT?

Women will always use sex as our way to make a statement, prove a point, or set a man straight. That is the only way at times a woman feels she has the upper hand or the advantage if you will. So to get the man's attention in order to make up, you let him simmer on his side of the bed until he get some "act right" in him or come to his senses. A man will stop talking, ignore that you exist and sometimes dip out the house on you. Drives women CRAZY! You know how hard it is for a woman to not speak for several days in her own home besides with the kids?!?!?! She will pretend to be on the phone, on the internet, clean but she really can't wait til you start talking to her again. Now I may not have it right for all my ladies, but I have it right for a vast majority.

Moral of the story? Hell I don't have one, but be aware ladies they're own to us!!!!!! Lol

Finances in Dating

There was a conversation that has been had by me and some friends where there was a multitude of opinions. The question was, is it ok for the man to use a coupon on the first date? Many had the perspective that this would indicate he is cheap and if you can't afford the date then you should lower the expectations or not go out at all. Some people feel that it's not a big deal and it’s a sign of maturity and frugalness.

In dating it is important that each individual is able to hold their own. If you want to take someone on a date and use a coupon, make sure she a coupon type of chick. It is not in your best interest to invite the high class girl whose attire down to her shoes is more than the meal you plan to present. Do not intend on taken a Red Lobster kind of girl to an Applebee’s kind of establishment and assume she will be ok with it.

Are finances important when dating? ABSOLUTELY!!!!! It is important during dating that you understand your audience and offer a performance worth applauding. Every woman wants to feel secure and confident that in a situation her man can handle it and take care of business. The strongest woman that is a go getter and conquers the world on her own merit still wants someone who can take care of her. Knowing your audience means you understand the woman you are keeping, understanding what she wants and whether you will be able to continue to provide it. In a relationship there are shared responsibilities and both should be able to lay out the red carpet in gift giving, dinner, birthdays and all other exciting reason within a relationship to spend money. Don't start out as a Red Lobster kind of man and lower the standards to Denny’s because you started out stronger than you were able to finish. Don't play games and start out with Denny’s when you know you’re a Red Lobster providing man. The world of technology allows individuals the ability to get to know you by phone, bbm, instant messaging, Skype, Facebook, twitter, heck even MySpace. Get to know your opponent because that is how you understand their needs and are able to deliver on the first date, or cut your losses before wasting your Red Lobster or Denny’s money!

The moral of the story: Broke ain't cute, using a coupon is alright if your audience is receiving of such an act, and understanding your opponent will alleviate the complications and financial issues.

Marriage- To honor, cherish, and trust

Many people put emphasis on getting married. You read in books that in order to live the fairy tale, marriage is required to be happily ever after. I think because of this people forget the main reason behind marriage. The whole death to you part, to honor, cherish, yea all that jazz.

Many women have a problem with the honor part of their vow and completely forget that it was said. I don't understand why some women have a problem with honoring their husbands. I was out to eat with a friend of mine, and her friend, and her friend got a call from her husband, she looks at me and says, "Don't be looking at me like that, he don't have me in check he probably calling because the kids want to talk to me." Now mind you I don't know this chick, but the fact that she thought she had to make a big deal about telling me her husband ain't in control bothered me. I told her that my husband has the right to check me when he sees fit. At the end of the day that man is who takes care of me and if he wants to call and check me Imma answer and don't owe nobody an explanation of why I did so.

The problem with women is that we are sometimes to independent. We want someone to take care of us, but then we want to still be in charge. You can't have both ladies. If you don't feel like you can't let your guard down enough to be taken care of, that means you haven't met the right man. Before meeting my husband, I always had a backup, in case the current man and situation didn't work out. I never in any previous relationships felt like I could depend on anyone to take care of what needed to be done. If that is what you feel, than boo that dude may not be the man for you. As a woman in a relationship that man should be in control and you should allow him to do so. If you feel he won't steer you in the right direction and you can't honor and trust his decisions, then why are you wasting your time. Until you can honor, cherish, and trust that man continue to date and not marry as our divorce rate is high enough! Too be continued.....

The Nex Level Studio Google Issue

I was new to TX and needed a salon. I am used to the Detroit style hair care so it was important that I found a salon that not only could hook my hair up to my usual standard but I also wanted someone that was about hair care. I am big on not going into a shop full of gossip, nastiness, and ghetto! I was referred to Vantrice and has been in love with her and the professionalism of her shop ever since. The shop is not ghetto by no means, and it is clean, friendly, and professional. They have snacks, coffee, water, music, laughter, tv's and an overall confronting atmosphere. Since going into The Nex Level I have loved it and would recommend their services to anyone.

There is a certain individual that had a bad experience with the shop and decided to write about it. Another stylist in the shop is Texas T....Although she is not my specific stylist I have seen her work and she does an amazing job. She is hilarious and provides the laughter and atmosphere with everyone else to make this shop what it is....Apparently she had a customer that didn't see it this way and googled this mess:
**********************************************************
I made a Saturday appointment with Toni aka Teaxas T whatever the H$#! That means. Anyways I mad ethe appointment 1 month in advance, I show up @ noon cause that was my appointment time Toni told me to have a seat. By 12:30 I was still waiting if I maid an appointment @ a certain time then that chair should be open for me that is why people make appointment I wasn't a walk in. The music was so loud and basing I thought I was at the club. That is ghetto and un professional . Needless to say I will never come back to that shop nor recommend anyone to get serviced there. I found a lovely and professional black hair shop on Ray Bon called Exselonce and it is a professional shop with the older more sophisticated black women atmosphere. Toni T is unprofessional and trying to be gready and book more appoinments than she can handle. The days of good customer @ black hair salons are fading .
**********************************************************

On so many levels this is all wrong. First off lady, when you decide to express yourself about how ghetto and unprofessional an atmosphere is, it is probably in your best interest to spell check. You put this on google, where anyone who googles the shop will read. Ummmmm not only is there spelling issue in this message but all types of grammar issues. How do you call yourself going hard on someone in Ebonics but in the same breath call someone ghetto! The shop plays music but it has never been loud enough to be considered ghetto, just loud enough to hear it in the midst of blow dryers and conversations. When has any salon that you walked into you are able to go right to the chair......??? Go ahead I will wait....... Yea none. A good hair salon is like the doctor you have to wait to get served. How professional is it to walk out of the salon pretending that you have to leave for work, only to go to another shop and then decide to google someone! I think "needless to say" was the most educated comment she made within this post! How you live in Texas and can't spell it....Boooooooo!

The ladiesm's moral of this story is to practice what you preach. You want a professional, you act like one. You want to make an appointment and walk into a chair, book your appointment at Walmart. You want to go hard on someone..... speak with some sense and not Ebonics. You think a stylist with people sitting in the chair is greedy, naw stupid, that's called clientele....Isn't that the point of owning and maintaining a business...Getcha mind right and jump off a bridge already! I recommend The Nex Level to anyone and Texas T for that matter, continue to get it ladies you are AWESOME!