Friends

The great thing about friends, is that you can pick them,  you can get rid of them, and you have the right to choose what type of relationship you can have with these friends. With your friends, you can choose them to be hanging partners only which equates to being an associate friend, or a true friend that you can share secrets with, a friend because they would be worthless as your enemy, or a friend that is really family but your relationship is just a strong as having them as a friend.

So what if that person didn't start out as your friend, but through a mutual relationship of someone else they became your friend. Is it okay to no longer befriend that person, when them and that mutual friend are not cool anymore? It is considered not being loyal to your other friend or family member, if you decided you still like this person and want to continue your friendship? Is it fair for your friend or family member to disown you because you still like that other friend, and have no reason to drop the relationship?

In my opinion it is not disloyal. I belief that it is not fair of someone to make you feel like just because their friendship or relationship didn't work, doesn't mean I am not supposed to like them anymore. True, they are only my friend in the first place through you, and true I might not have given them a chance if it wasn't for your relationship, but darnit I did, and darnt I'm glad I did, and darnit, you need to get over it!

In real life, life is too short for me to care about what other thinks of me. I can befriend whomever I want, no matter if you like it or not. If that person doesn't pose an immediate harm to me or anyone in my circle, or themselves for that matter, why do you care? The moral of this story is: Just because you broke up with this person, and I still like them and what they represent without you doesn't mean I am not loyal, it just means that you still got some growing and maturing left in you to do........! I choose my friends, associates, and life partner, the only person I can't choose is my family.

Dating

Dating is the inevitable, it’s available online, and the ole fashion way. I believe whatever way you find it necessary to find love is your porogative. I know love is hard to find, I accepted 3 rings before actually saying, “I do.” I just believe that people are going about how they introduce themselves and their kid into the situation is all wrong. There are too many crazy people out there, and just having them come to your home because you feel you know him, is ending in tragedy.




Now this also applies to the ladies dating the usual way. It is not a good look to bring that man to your home after the 1st date or for the internet love after a month or so of communicating online. This is especially even more a precaution when you have kids. I understand that you feel you know them and you feel they should meet all the aspects of you life but jumping the gun ladies puts you in a dangerous situation.



I was in a long time relationship that ended after 5 years, and I had to start dating again after being out the game for awhile. I would meet the men I dated at central locations, one of my home girl houses, my momma house, somewhere like that. I would make sure someone wrote down the license plate number of his car before I left. Now I know you may think I was paranoid, but trust I always made it back home safely, and if I didn’t my people could tell the police the make and model of the car I left in, what he looked like, and what the plates were on his car.



When I started to date after my son was born, I never, ever, ever, ever let them meet my son. That was something I took serious. You were not allowed to meet my son unless were exclusive and had been dating for a very long time. My son was not of anyone’s concern regardless of how much I may have liked that individual. I didn’t feel it was necessary for my son to meet every guy I decided to share my time with, and we know with dating you meet many until you settle for that one. Just because you’ve been on three dates, does not mean that he now needs to meet your child, you telling him that he exist is enough. Dating is already hard enough, especially when you decide that he is not the one, so should we bring a child into this tangled web? Now I understand that you may have waited the time period, you were considered exclusive, and then it just turned out to not work out, and really there is nothing you can do about that situation. My suggestion is the minute you know in your heart, that the relation is not working, cut it, move the child from the situation, kids forget way quicker than we do, let their healing start before yours!



So the moral of this Ladiesm’s post is just to be careful. The way you choose to date is your choice, just be more mindful of how you meet them, how much of where you lay your head they know about, and question yourself on whether this is a seasoned relationship due to end, or if this could be long term. Once that is decided think more about the safety of the kids more than the wants of your desires………..When a child is born, your life no longer about you, its about them!

Street Lights

So myself and a couple of other ladies, were wondering why on a Sunday evening the street lights were on, and there were still kids outside playing, who obviously had to get up and go to school the next morning. Why is their lack of mothers out there that believe that this rule should not still apply? I remember when I was a kid growing up on Barbara Drive (shout out to my Flintown homies) if we weren't in the house before the street lights came home, we were homeless for the night. Not to mention when it started to get even a little dark we had to be in front of the house in eye sight of the adults.



I don’t think that setting a bedtime for kids still going to school is too much to ask for. I, as your next door neighbor have my kids in the bed by 8:30 pm and hearing your children still out side all whilly nilly is the last thing I want to hear. “Mothers of the new bread” don’t you know that is my relaxing time, and your kids being outside is disturbing my peace of mind. By 8:30 pm on a school night, your children should have homework done, fed dinner, bath or shower complete, book read (if that’s your thang) and in the bed. Now I ain’t saying they should be sleep, but they should at least be in a relaxed state of mind getting those minds ready for school the next day. Now I understand this will not always be the case, such as days where you are leaving your spiritual sanctuary of whatever kind you participate late on some evenings, or you just got a late start due to other unforeseen circumstances. But kids outside because simple parents don’t feel like getting them together and organized for the week is just UNACCEPTABLE!



I do not profess to be a perfect parent, nor do I think I am better than those who ain’t heeding this ol school knowledge, but there must be a reason why when I am out and about, I am stopped by many to compliment , my husband and I on how well mannered our kids are. LOL…….



Soooo the public announcement brought to you by Ladiesm’s today is……..Take responsibilities for these kids, get them in the bed and on a schedule, a daily regiment, consistency is important, just cause you simple don’t mean the kids have to be. Get your lazy butt up, get those kids together, and then sit back on your couch, or in your bed to resume your position!

House Hunting

My husband and I were house hunting yesterday.....I really want to give you a rundown of what we noticed...

The first house we entered, the people who left didn't have the courtesy to clean the house prior to leaving, this means they didn't vacuum the carpet, wash the tub, or sweep the floor, needless to say..... hated it!

The second house was ok, really no issues, other than the fact they the at least could've straighten up. I understand that you have a life, and you live and your house, but if you have your house on the market in an effort to sell it, do yourself and the people interested a favor, clean it up, make it presentable, make me want to want your house.

The third house was my favorite. I loved the inside of the house, but two problems. The grass looked like a forest. The grass was sooooo long, you couldn't even see the front stoop of the step from the curb.....Second issue the hood boys next door. It was at least 7 of them, pants sagging below their behinds sitting on a car with nothing else better to do.

The last house, was also nice, I really liked the look of this home, I hated that their grass was also not cut, there was a braid that had detached from the owners head all over the bathroom, and mold growing around the shower. The funny part of this is that the current occupant knew we were coming and left when we arrived, and cleaning I guess, was just tooooo much to ask for!

So I guess the moral of the story is that if your attempt is to get your home on the market, for sale or for rent to make the house PRESENTABLE. PRESENTATION IS EVERYTHING. YOU MUST PRESENT THIS HOUSE JUST AS A RESTAURANT WOULD PRESENT YOUR MEAL.....IT NEEDS TO BE APPEALING, APPETIZING, AND WORTH LOOKING AT. If you don't take the time to care, what makes you think that I will care to want your house.

THIS HAS BEEN YOUR PUBLIC ANNOUNCEMENT, BROUGHT TO YOU BY LADIEMS'S!