Baby Momma Drama

This is an epidemic. Its almost like a requirement for some women to end a relationship involving kids with some movie scene drama. What is the drama really?! Are you concerned that he won't treat your child/children the same if he is no longer with you? Are you concerned that he will move on to someone else? Let's see I think that is the problem. Most women really don't have a reason to create baby momma drama other than one reason, they feel they can, or they are not over the man that moved on.

I am a baby momma! I hate that term, but hey I had a child out of wedlock. I was not with the person I had my son with before nor after he was born. We had already determined we were not good together, and that we should just be parent's. I could have made his life unbearable and annoying. Why would I want to? We both are in this together and making the situation hard is pointless and it takes to much time and effort. The only thing I work at and not receive a check for is my child and my marriage.

After my son was born, my mother and I had a talk, and in that talk I said that when my son's father met someone that he wanted to bring my son around it was his duty to make sure I approved. What made me think that I had the right to approve somebody? I felt like he was half my child and I needed and had the right to know who was around my child. My mom told me that he will move on to other women, and you do not have the right to determine, approve, or even be considered in his choices of who he has your son around. I thought about that hard. Was she right? Who did I think I was? I do not have the right to approve her, you don't even have the right to check her or her abilities to raise your child. Your only right is to trust that man that you trusted enough to give up the goods to and his judgement. You do not have the right to question that woman and her experience with kids. You have the right to question that man, and that man only, because he is the one you made the baby with. Now if you want to have a talk with this woman as a courtesy to say hey I know you will be around my child so I wanted to introduce myself, cool, make that happen, but thinking she owes you anything, get over your self!

Life is too short. Let that man go, let him move on to whomever he deems necessary. Stop using the children as a pawn. Either way you slice the cake a man will move on faster than a woman ever can, and that is just their makeup. If you wanted to control who your kids are around, do it on your time, because his time is just that his time. As long as you know the kids are not in immediate danger move on. Use your free time to do something more productive, like finding you a man, and getting on with your life. Go to school, do a puzzle, basically get a life.

This public announcement has been brought to you by ladiesms and the Lady that has been there, and done that!

Hating

Soooo lets talk about it ladies, let's make it known. We all know that their are haters out there, there are people that don't want to see you succeed. There are people that will hold you down and attempt to enable you if you allow them to. There are people out there that will turn their nose up at your bold attempts at success whether its within a relationship, your career choice, your friend choices, and some on your clothes choices.......now think about the friends that you have that have criticized or questioned you in one of these categories. Now lets not get it twisted with having a good friend, that makes suggestions, offer imput, or questions how you will make what you are attempting happen.

DO you find that when you do something that is different than what they would've done they turn their noise up, or if you decided to make a career or business choice they always got something to say that is not always encouraging or positive. The old saying is that misery loves company. How someone who ain't doing what you doing, can turn their nose up or offer negative feedback, you ain't done it and with that attitude you never will. How you gone tell me my man ain't happening when you single. How you gone tell me its a bad idea to be friends with that chick, when your friend choices ain't so hot either. How you gone tell me I shouldn't take that job when I will be making more than you. Right ladies, you feel me.....ugh, getcha life together!

Now hating is not just limited to friends, family hate too! They wanna call you booche cause you prefer to have some high standards and choices aboutcha self. How am I booche cause I like to keep my hair and nails done, or cause I don't smoke or knock back drinks on a work night. Excuse me for having my priorities in order. I am sick of haters who always got something to say about what you doing, but when it comes to them we supposed to be quiet. Well not today.

What is the moral of this message, mind your own, don't try discouraging me cause you think what I am doing is not anything you would attempt. If you wouldn't do it then that's you but giving me negative push back is not necessary. Keep your negative energy to yourself. I dress how I wanna dress cause that's my swag. I don't smoke cause I don't think it ladylike. I get my hair done cause my paycheck says I can. I attempt different career and business goals because I am striving not to be broke, so if you ain't feeling it, you ain't feeling me, and in the famous words of Neyo....to the left, to the left, keep it moving!